Randi Ram and the Sacred Goat of Bhuna.

A Guide to the Sharpe Practice Randi Ram Campaign

 The Sharpe Practice rules by the Toofatlardies are a real eye opener in terms of being both a fun game, as well as being a pretty good simulation of black powder warfare.  My own campaign is based on the excellent "Wellington in India" range of figures from Redoubt Miniatures.

The eponymous "Randi Ram" of the title is actually "Rangi Ram," the character who acts as narrator for the BBC comedy "It ain't half hot Mum.".  If you find this confusing then you better brace yourself for what is coming!  In my campaign he is much younger than the character played by Anglo Indian actor Michael Bates, and his name has been changed by a British Officer to Randi, following his efforts to clear a goat from the parade ground at Fort George.

Randi narrates the events of the Campaign, using his skills in speaking "British" a language taught to him as a child by his adoptive Family, The Whitmores. Randi imagines Quincy Whitmore to be his father, although this is not true, and there are many Ram family members in the campaign. We actually discover that Randi was a Houseboy for Captain Sir Quincy Whitmore, and the Campaign is in the format of a series of letters from Randi, although often written by Mr Kipling on his behalf. This Mr Kipling is a Cake seller who lives in Fort George.

Randi's other correspondent is Young Mr Quilp, an ensign in the British Army, who at one time lived with Captain Whitmore, and whom Randi thinks of as a close friend. 

The campaign setting is Madras and the Coromandel Coast. Randi has been accepted into the 2nd Madras Coastal Sepoys. On the tabletop he is depicted as a simple Sepoy figure. The battalion's officers are all characters from the T.V show. We Know that Madras is a British held city, with Fort George just to the North. Somewhere inland are enemy forces. (the geography can be a little hazy, because Randi has no idea of geography, and because the campaign doesn't really need it). 

The year is somewhere around 1780. Randi is never really clear on dates. We know that the local Native Prince is the Bhuna of Dahl, who rules from a Hillfort called Dahl. Confusingly his Princedom is called the Bhuna too. He is assisted in this by his Son, the Little Bhuna, and by Lal Bagh, a local chief, whom the 2nd Madras scornfully consider to be little more than a goat stealing bandit. The Bhuna is well known for riding around on his favourite camel, Buttercup, and he dresses as a Sudanese Mahdist Khalifa, because the Perry figure is so very nice. The Bhuna is unaware of this anachronism, although everybody else is.

Further into the countryside are the lands of the Typhoo Sultan. A man who inspires fear, and lots of tea related puns. He commands Regular soldiers trained by Frenchmen with improbable names. On at least one occasion these worthies have wiped out an entire 2nd Madras Company. Randi always survives these events. He is not a Big Man under the Sharpe Practice rules, rather the opposite in fact. His ploy is usually to strip to his loincloth and pose as a water seller. It always works!

The Madras coast is populated by some interesting characters. Ram Shackle is Randi's older brother, the Mad Fakir, a rabble rouser and religious hero to the people of the interior. Nookie Noor is a British spy, who claims to be "Sir Digby Chicken Caesar," although it seems clear that he has merely plagiarised this name from somewhere. Noor is an information seller, slave trader, entrepreneur and pimp. He rather likes Randi.

Randi's Officer is the very bald and very Brainy Mr Lieutenant Gunnar Grahame. Grahame is sarcastic and rather a darker character than his TV series original. Lieutenant Miss Gloria Beaumont was Randi's first Officer, but he has never been the same since being shot in Randi's first battle, and then shot again as he lay in the Dhoolie, or stretcher. Being shot in the Dhoolie is Gloria's most famous moment, and the implication is that he now incapable of commanding the Company. Mr Sugden is a short officer of little skill, whom the Sepoys think is unworthy to command them. Mr Mackintosh is a crazy and reckless Scotchman officer who swears a great deal, much offending the Sepoys.

The battalion commander is Colonel Reynolds, an irresolute man whose main attribute is that he drinks pink gin. His sidekick is Captain Ashworth, who is worse than he is! The real Soldiers of the battalion are the Native NCOs. The two Jemhadars who always seem to save the day.

Randi never performs well in battle. He has been assigned as Mr Grahame's Servant, a role he believes is a singular honour. He does no actual work, and has camp servants to order around to bring tea, clean and cook. He is proud of his battalion and looks down on civilians.

The campaign is run using event cards.  At some point I will upload them to the Blog.  The Game is largely a solo wargame, although it features members of the Marshal Petain Gentleman's Club, a venerable organisation for which I serve as Treasurer, the President being the Hon. Quincy Whitmore and the Secretary being the scribe, Mr Quilp.  These "Gentlemen" are frequently mentioned in the Blog.