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| "Er, Havildar? I don`t want to be a King, and... every two figures count as one? This is so confusing..." |
It is I, your former houseboy Randi Ram, and perhaps a relative since you were fond of my mother, the Mrs Ram, when she was your Bishti girl, sitting in the alley outside the Whitmore Indian Mansion selling water from an old goat skin...
I am prospering in my career as a Britisher Soldier. The rank of Servant to Lieutenant "Baldy" Grahame is mine. Here in Madras the talk is all of the Great Typhoo Sultan who has once again been brewing trouble with a capital Tea, claiming that the Britishers are to blame for putting tea into paper bags and pouring milk into the cup. He is a strain on us all.
Our Major, "Shut-up" Williams has been reading a book on drill by a Mr Daniel Mersey. He has taken it all to heart and has instructed the battalion to fight according to Mr Mersey's principles. Something about Men wanting to be Kings. The English are all mad! Nobody in the Battalion so much as suspected that he could read.
Those Frenchy trained Sepoys had been re-organised in a similar way to ourselves, and their cavalry were in huge swarms. The Duc a l'orange, a greasy individual armed with a stone pestle waved gaily at us.
We lined up with the village to our rear and our right resting on the river. Along the road to our front we saw them coming, not Tribesmen but trained Green Turban Regulars. Once again I am in a battle. Once again my plan is to hide behind the Lieutenant.
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| The lines are drawn up. |
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| The forces of the Typhoo Sultan |
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| The 2nd Madras close on their enemies |
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| But casualties are inflicted by the cannon fire from the Sultan`s lines. |
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| But the 2nd Madras Centre company kills the entire gun crew. |
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| The musketry exchanges are deadly |
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| As a company of The Sultan`s Sepoys routs the 2nd Madras swing the line to outflank and roll up the Sultans troops. |
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| Randi stays close to his Officer, in the rear rank! |
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| The Duc a' L'Orange follows the Sultan`s elephant off table. They will be back for revenge... |
Randi my boy, you're alive, what excellent news! Brother Belcher informed me that he believed you had succumbed to Stiff Dutchman's Fever in Bombay and I heard elsewhere that you had been lost on the wreck of the Pert Doxie taking assorted rubber goods to Singapore. How glad I am to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteYour endeavours against the Typhoo Sultan may well prove long and arduous as from what I hear his resources are considerable. Rely on God's protection as well as your own innate sense of self preservation. Whitmore Q (Capt), Poona.
Oh most excellent and praiseworthy Captain Sir. Finally a battle that the 2nd Madras have won! We shall follow up this success by advancing up the Arcot road to Koya, but rumour now has it that the Bhuna of Dahl has joined the fight and that we will soon be facing the huge swinging choppers of his fanatics! Worse, my brother, the Mad Fakir has been seen, stirring up more trouble in Chinta to our rear.
ReplyDeleteSurely as the ancient proverb has it, "a mad dog always bites under the knee."