Randi Ram and the Defence of Nookie's Emporium of Delights

Scenario Eight:  Randi Ram and the Defence of Nookie's Emporium of Delights.

Oh Captain Whitmore Sir!

It is I, Rangi Ram, called Randi by my Officers, and once your most excellent servant.  My Mother has fond memories of you sir...   I have had a terrible time with Nookie.  Please do not be thinking that this is normal for a Britisher soldier in the 2nd Madras.  Our company has been at Pornomalee again, and I was with my Officer, the very bald and brainy Lt Grahame inside Nookie Noor's Emporium of Delights, bartering for a hair piece.

This Nookie is a seller of information, and for a few rupees Mr Grahame can discover what is occurring in the Madras Province.   His information was not so useful today.  For 20 rupees he told us that the Typhoo Sultan is brewing trouble, and for 30 more rupees that my brother Ram Shackle, the Mad Fakir has been seen at Dahl.
 
This is a campaign mechanism.  It allows me to add an element of chance to the game.  A D6 decides how many rupees are paid over from battalion funds, and the higher the sum the better the information.  A chance table is then rolled to discover if the result will have any impact on the battle, perhaps by adding units to one side or adding a character.  Here the Indian forces failed to get the Morale boosting figure of the Mad Fakir added.

This Fort at Pornomalee has been burnt down three times and is in ruins.  Our company were to supervise the erection of a wall around the old tower.  It is not a strong place.  Our presence soon attracted the attention of that old villain the Bhuna of Dahl.

 Well it was that the Subadar Major Haidar Sikh was with us, and as bad tempered as ever.  The Bhuna had sent his son, the newest Little Bhuna, the 2nd Madras having slain yet another one whilst I was away adventuring with the swashbuckling three Havildars.  Like his brothers this Little Bhuna is a massive idiot.

 

Skirmishers led by the Little Bhuna suddenly appeared at the edge of the village, hillmen with their long jezail muskets.  The scoundrel bandit Tante Tooh appeared on the road, with a strong force of horsemen.  The terrible chant of "Din, Din!" began, and half of the company crowded into the Emporium.  Mr Grahame ordered us to stand ready, and the Subadar Major had our sepoys dig firing holes in the mud brick walls, using our bayonets.  Havildar Singh took his platoon up to the roof.  It was a nervous time for the Randi Ram's bowels.

This Nookie was not happy about his Emporium of Delights being turned into a battlefield.  He took refuge with his girls down in the cellar. 

We could see the rest of the company attempting to seek refuge in the old tower, but with a charge of horse and much shouting they were overrun.

 










 

This made Mr Lieutenant Grahame quite angry.  His bald and brainy head went very purple.  The Subadar Major was also quite grim, but then again he was born that way.  Our men were shooting these dogs down, and on the roof Havildar Singh and his platoon were able to fire down into the street. These casualties soon broke the Little Bhuna's attack.

Mr Grahame rushed out and caught this Little Bhuna, completely killing him.  Tante Tooh, seeing this, galloped off. 

Nookie Noor was in floods of tears, having been comforted by his girls in the cellar.  His Emporium of Delights now has a similar look to the outdoor latrine at Fort George, and a similar smell.

Yes Captain Whitmore sir, although we drove them off it was yet another defeat.   Mr Grahame is most unhappily talking of revenge.  It seems that we must be marching up to the Dahl hill fort and giving the Bhuna another "damned good spanking what!"  Strange things these Britishers want to do sometimes. 

I may have to visit my old friend Chandra Bogennoor the Physic at Fort George, and be placed on his list of "sickees."


As the old Indian proverb says "a Doctor is only a Doctor when he has killed a few patients."

A doctor is only a doctor when he has killed one or two patients - See more at: http://www.special-dictionary.com/proverbs/source/i/indian_proverb/#sthash.1blTJD2G.dpuf

A doctor is only a doctor when he has killed one or two patients - See more at: http://www.special-dictionary.com/proverbs/source/i/indian_proverb/#sthash.1blTJD2G.dpuf

The Game
Unlike the skirmishers the cavalry forces unleased by the Bhuna were pretty inneffective against the Sepoys, who were in excellent cover.  It seems that the timing of the attack was all important, and the skirmishers, who appeared first, warned the 2nd Madras that an attack was imminent.  Once the Sepoys had gained cover even the Jezails of the tribesmen had little chance.
On the other hand the Little Bhuna did manage to wipe out the part of the Company in the Fort.  These had only one Big Man, and were simply swamped.  The Sepoys only victory was in killing the little Bhuna, a lucky shot, rather than as reported the heroic work of Randi`s Lieutenant.  A well deserved victory for the Indians. (again)