The TV serial "the Flashing Blade" made no sense whatsoever. The plot was utterly baffling, the dubbing from the original French was jaw droppingly poor, and even Fate intervened when the BBC failed to show the last 20 minutes at the end of the series due to a technical problem. Even today the whole thing remains pretty much incomprehensible, an excuse for running around and having sword fights in different locations. I pray there is never a remake! It`s perfect for En Garde!
Our hero, the Chevalier Bladé has a lovers tryst with the Marquisa Cruella di Campo, which takes place in the wine cellar of the Inn that featured in Episode 4. The Bladé reveals his true feelings for the lady, but once again his poorly dubbed English, and the terrible script (There's a script? Really?) let him down and she fails to understand a word of it.
Of course there may be yet another reason he is called the Flashing Blade, and he has just flashed his magnificent weapon in an in ill thought out attempt to impress... Cruella was never a fan of rapiers!
The Chevalier rolls six chances, needing 5 or 6 to impress, and he manages to disgust and terrify the lady in four of them. Doubtless she shouts for help!
At the sound of the lady's screams for help the long suffering Lurkio, faithful manservant to the Bladé, and sometime hair product model, arrives to assist, closely pursued by the lady's fiancé, Tarquin, La Compte de Monte Pubis, a rich Savoyard Noble who brings with him four Musketeers of the Savoyard Guard.
The noble Compte sends his Musketeers in first, and once again the Bladé
rolls terribly on the dice of fate (the green dice here). His four attacks are useless.
Fortunately Lurkio drives back his opponent with some good parry and
riposte moves, skewering one through his tabard.
The Compte bravely fires a pistol at the Bladé, and the cellar
immediately fills with smoke. The Compte manages to hit one of his own
Savoyards in the back of the hat, spraying Musketeer brains around the cellar.
Drawing his expensive Turin
Steel sword the Compte attacks the Chevalier, but this time the Bladé
comes alive and drives him back. Lurkio wounds a second Guard.
When the Chevalier kills another of the Guards the
Compte decides that perhaps marriage is just not for him, and flees the cellar with
his remaining guardsman. This gives the Bladé another chance to woo
Lady Cruella, now that she has seen his bladé in action as it were.
Alas he rolls
two chances and once again she is revolted and shouts for help.
I
decided that Lurkio should get at least an attempt to impress
the Lady. After all the papal Nuncio is fell in love with him during episode three, and it was Lurkio who did most of the fighting here. The dice rolls are unequivocal, the lady was really impressed with our faithful
manservant. Just what does that boy have?
The answer would seem to be premature baldness, looking at the figure I selected as Lurkio.
Next week, the the Papal Ambassador produces his chocolate treats and tries to impress Lurkio and the Bladé, whilst the Spanish close in on our hero. The Ambassador is famour for his foil wrapped balls!
As I read your excellent narrative I was there with Stewart Grainger and James Mason in the dungeons of Castle Zenda! Boy's Own stuff, more please.
ReplyDeleteAh yes, old Scaramouche himself, there was a man who could fill a pair of stripy tights. Scaramouche or Zenda would make good campaigns, they are every bit as camp as the Blade.
ReplyDeleteI`m enjoying these En Garde! games.